Chunky Monkey Meltdown
by RangerBabeFan
Summary: Just a oneshot for a challenge on PP. Babe, of course. Steph's finally ended it with Morelli, so what's Batman gonna do about it? Rated for language.


**Chunky Monkey Meltdown**

This is for Tricia's challenge on PP. A little late, but here it is nonetheless. Huge thanks to Angie and Kym for their invaluable contributions and late night brainstorming, and Chey bawling her eyes out after reading. Thanks so much, Babes!

Stephanie was comfortably ensconced on her living room sofa, a pint of 'Chunky Monkey' in one hand, and a spoon in the other. A six-pack of chilled Dr Pepper was sitting in a cooler at her feet, and a varied assortment of Tastykakes were spread out on the coffee table within easy reach.

She'd placed Rex's aquarium on the other end of the coffee table where he could join her little party; not really wanting to feel like she was celebrating her newfound freedom all on her own, but at the same time unwilling to deal with the constant barrage of intrusive questions and embarrassing remarks if she were to spend the evening in the company of Lula, Connie and Mary Lou on a celebratory 'Girls Night Out'. This was a private victory on her part.

_**Earlier that day…**_

She'd finally done it. She called Morelli and had him meet her at his row house he'd inherited from his Aunt Rose, fully intent on hashing out their convoluted relationship and ending it for good. She was tired of being a yo-yo, much less the target of her mother's wrath and his constant bickering about her quitting her job. And then there were the extras she'd never mentioned before.

Joe, on the other hand, was under the impression she was finally caving, and came home anticipating victory and hot, sweaty makeup sex. He was in for a rude surprise.

When she rebuffed his advances and dodged his roaming hands, he'd blown up at her, ranting and raving about how "Ranger put her up to this", sneering at her when he asked "When was she gonna grow up and settle down like she was supposed to?", and lastly, telling her how much of a joke she was to him, her family, and the entire city of Trenton.

He'd brought up how a 'proper 'burg wife' should behave, and the concessions she would need to make to appease his pride. She laughed bitterly at that. He'd hinted that his 'pride' wasn't really what he was talking about. Oh, she'd known about his clandestine trysts with 'Mob Boss Barbie' Terri Gilman at the 'No-tell Motel' just outside Trenton's city limits, but until this morning hadn't caught on to the fact that those assignations had continued well into the 'on-again' phases of their relationship.

When she'd thrown that knowledge in his face, it didn't seem to register to him that this alone was a deal-breaker for her, never mind the cracks about her being a joke to her family and the 'burg. He'd blithely stated that "it was a man's prerogative to satisfy his 'male urges', and that as his wife it was her place to respect his wishes and just accept it".

She'd lost it then, calling him all kinds of names, ranging from a "Chauvinistic Italian prick", "a controlling trapezoid living in the '50's", and last but not least, "a jealous whoring sonuvbitch who couldn't keep it in his pants". She'd stated loudly and in no uncertain terms that she was finally through with his worthless ass, told him to go fuck himself, then grabbed Rex's cage and slammed out the door, having already loaded everything else into Big Blue before Joe's arrival home. She didn't look back this time, knowing she'd never again allow him to get inside her defenses with the promise of something worthwhile in their future. Huh. Their future. That was a laugh!

_**Presently…**_

Now sitting there on her couch contemplating her future, Stephanie could only grin and pat herself on the back for ending what was once pointed out to her was "an unhealthy pattern of behavior". Although she knew there was no future with the man who'd made that comment so long ago, she still couldn't help but wonder if he would be the least little bit proud of her for finally taking control of her own life and standing by her decisions. She just wished she wasn't so afraid of losing what little relationship she had with the breath-taking bounty hunter/security specialist/mercenary to take the chance on initiating something more with him.

She knew she was in love with him, and that her love would remain unrequited, so she figured she would just have to settle for the small part of his life he allowed her to share. She only wished that when he'd mentioned "Someday" that it meant he wanted a future with her; that she wasn't destined to live on the peripheral of his life while he carried on his 'no relationship' policy. It would kill her to see him with someone else, even if it was only a one-night-stand type of contact he seemed to prefer. No, she'd leave everything behind before she could stomach that happening. The very thought of never seeing him again made her sad, though, causing her shoulders to droop in dejection.

She was so lost in thought of what her vision of the future was that she failed to notice anything amiss in her apartment. Only when she heard the television blaring "Luucyyy! **You got some 'splainin' to do!**" and the resulting "But Rickyyy! It wasn't my fault!" did she come out of her reverie and feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She turned her head towards the front door and felt her heart give a lurch.

There, leaning relaxed against the entryway to her living room stood the man himself, edibly dressed in a painted-on black T-shirt and cargoes, his arms folded across his chest in a pose which caused the muscles in his arms to bulge. She felt her throat constrict at the sight of him.

"Hey Ranger. What brings you here?" she croaked out, blinking at the moisture that wanted to fill her eyes. He was staring intently at her, silently studying her face and body. She dropped her gaze to the ice cream in her hand, absently noting that it had melted into a gooey mess that suddenly looked very unappealing.

"Babe."

He continued to watch her, and even without looking up, she felt his eyes rove over her, stopping momentarily on her face and hands that she suddenly felt weren't busy enough. She needed to regroup.

She set the spoon on the coffee table next to the pile of treats laid out there and grabbed the cap to the ice cream, securing the lid before standing and walking disjointedly into the kitchen to pitch it into the garbage. She reached into the refrigerator and extracted two bottles of water, setting one on the countertop before twisting the cap off the remaining bottle and taking a huge gulp.

Deciding that he wouldn't fall for her stall tactics – he never did – she picked up the bottle off the counter and turned around, stopping in her tracks when she saw that he had moved into the doorway of the kitchen. She wordlessly handed him the bottle, smothering a gasp when his fingers brushed hers as he took the offering. She struggled to keep her composure, hoping that her thoughts hadn't made themselves apparent on her face.

"You okay, Babe?" he asked, not even pretending that the bottle she'd handed him held any interest for him at the moment. _Of course, Ranger never seemed to need time to collect his thoughts, to pretend a bravado he was far from feeling._ Not that she'd recognize, at least.

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?" she replied. She tried to inject an air of nonchalance into her speech, but knew the moment her voice came out, it held a tinge of sadness. _He'd probably attribute that to her breakup_ _with Joe_, she thought. _At least he wouldn't know the real reason_.

There wasn't a doubt in her mind that he'd already heard. _Hell, Joe's neighbors probably had on speed dial by now._ Ranger seemed to know every time they'd had a fight; she would barely be back at her apartment when he would inevitably show up sooner or later that same day to check on her. Talk about a pattern!

"Stephanie." His voice came out in a low growl.

Uh oh. He never called her by her full name unless he was very serious or extremely pissed. At the moment, she wasn't sure which emotion was winning the battle, since she could clearly detect his anger and the seriousness of his mood. _Probably both._

Crappity crap crap! **She needed more than just a bottle of water if she was going to have to explain exactly what was going on with her**. She grimaced. Hopefully her present state of mind, like wishing things could be different with this enigmatic man_, _wouldn't become part of the conversation. She could only pray, since the man had amazing instincts where she was concerned. _Too bad she couldn't say the same._

"I'm just dandy, Ranger. In fact, Rex and I were just celebrating the fact that we're finally free. No more 'burg expectations for me, and he gets to live without fear that Bob will change his eating habits and eat him some day. Yep, everything's hunky-dory at Stephanie Plum's house!" _I really need to stop babbling_, she thought to herself.

The quirk of an eyebrow on his handsome face was all it took to send her mouth into overdrive again. "I mean, I know I only found out about Terri this morning, but I've actually been trying to end it for quite a while. I just can't spend the rest of my life with someone I don't trust, and the very thought of shackling myself to him when I don't feel the way I should about him, and especially since there's someone else I _do_ feel that way about…" She suddenly stopped, realizing with horror that she'd practically blurted out that she was in love with him, and that she had already said much more than she'd wanted to in regards to why she'd initially decided to end it with Joe permanently.

One glance at his face had her stomach roiling in desperation. His gaze had sharpened, his body tensed as he focused his dark eyes on her face. She could almost feel the menace in the air as his voice cut into her.

"Someone else?"

She swallowed the sudden lump that caught in her throat and turned towards the refrigerator, busying herself with pulling out some grapes and a piece of carrot to give to Rex. She needed more time!

She nearly jumped out of her skin when a strong brown hand gripped her shoulder and turned her to face him, giving her no time whatsoever to prepare herself for scrutiny. Not good.

She kept her gaze at his throat, watching the muscles in his neck tense when she refused to meet his eyes. No way in hell could she bring herself to look into his face. The anger alone that radiated off him was enough to send the Rangemen scurrying for cover; she didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of surviving his wrath if _they_ were scared of him! She could almost hear his teeth grinding. She wondered if he even realized that he had allowed her to see him angry.

"Stephanie." He spat out, making her jump.

"What?" Her voice came out as a squeak. Holy hotcakes, he was pissed!

"There's someone else? Who?" he gritted out, barely keeping his temper in check.

"Oh, well, I really shouldn't say. He doesn't want a relationship with me" she said in a voice hardly loud enough to hear. _Oh God! Please don't let him press it. I'll go to mass every Sunday, and eat dinner with my family more than once a week; I'll even _try_ to be nice to Vinnie…_

Her comment seemed to surprise him. At least he'd dropped his hand and taken a step back, even if it was only just enough for her to begin breathing again. _Boy, a breakin at one of his accounts would come in real handy right now…_

"Why not?" His voice held disbelief and not just a little bit of confusion.

"Erm, well, funny you should ask…" her voice trailed when she glanced up at him through her lashes and caught the look on his face.

He seemed to realize she didn't want to continue with an explanation, because his trademark face slammed down again instantly, almost making her believe she'd never seen his display of emotion. Almost.

His gaze grew in intensity in a matter of milliseconds, which made her realize he wasn't going to let go of this.

"Oh all right. You really want to know? Fine, I'll tell you, but you have to promise me you won't disappear from my life. I couldn't handle losing what little I have of you." At his hesitant nod she continued.

"Okay, here goes." She wiped her suddenly sweating palms on her jean-covered thighs, nervously searching for the right words. Not finding anything to lead into it gracefully, she blurted it out. "I'm in love with you."

The silence was so absolute she could actually hear her own heart racing; she wondered distractedly if he could hear it too.

"What did you say?"

_Criminy! He was gonna make her repeat it! Hell, it was hard enough the first time when he hadn't expected it, but to actually want her to say it again was just plain cruel!_

"Look, Ranger. I know you don't want a relationship with me, and I understand, I really really do. You don't have to worry about me becoming obsessive and following you around, or crying all the time because your life makes it impossible. I'm not gonna interfere with your lifestyle, because I know you don't want that. All I ask is that we can remain friends, and still work together when we need each other's help. I'm not interested in marriage or kids; hell, the mere thought scares the crap out of me. Just don't walk away from me. Please." Her last word was a whispered plea.

This time the silence was deafening. She couldn't tell if he was still pissed, or just plain embarrassed. Hard to tell which thought was less painful.

"Where did you get the idea I didn't want a relationship with you?" he asked quietly, watching her with an inscrutable expression. _Better than the blank face at least_, she mused.

She frowned in confusion. "You told me that a long time ago, Ranger. Just before you sent me back to Morelli," she said quietly._ The night you shattered my dreams of actually finding someone who'd love me as I am instead of what I could become…_

He turned and walked back into the living room, stopping at the chair that sat at an angle to her sofa before dropping tiredly onto the cushion. He leaned his head back against the seat, his arms resting on the chair's as he closed his eyes. When he spoke, his voice held a weariness she'd never heard him display before.

"You want to know the truth, Babe?" he silently waited for an acknowledgement from her. When he heard her whispered "yes" he smiled his trademark 'almost smile', only there seemed to be a touch of derision to it this time. It surprised her, but not nearly as much as his next words did.

"I'm tired of waking up alone every morning without the woman I love. I'm tired of going to bed at night knowing someone else is holding the love of my life; touching her, giving her pleasure, making her scream out his name. I want that for me, Ric, instead of always denying myself the one person who makes everything right in my world. I don't want to always be Ranger. I want to be Ric again before I lose him altogether, and before I lose you."

She stood there with her mouth hanging open, probably the best fish-impression yet, before looking surreptitiously around her. Was he talking to her?

"You…you mean…what are you saying, Ranger?" If her voice sounded a little rough right then, who could blame her? This was Batman talking, and he seemed to be talking to her. But why? She specifically remembered when he told her that his "life didn't lend itself to relationships"…

Ranger got up out of the chair and made his way over to her, taking in the stunned look on her face that seemed to have frozen in place. He brought his hands up to rest on each side of her head, tilting her face up so she could see his eyes and read the emotions he'd been hiding for so long.

"Babe…Stephanie…I've been in love with you for what seems like my whole life. You're the reason I come back from each mission, even when the odds say I won't. You have a gift that few people, _even you _, deign to recognize, that makes you so unique, so special to me. You bring so much light and love into my world, and even though I know I don't deserve you, I don't want to let you go. Not again. I can't." His expression held so much sincerity and conviction, so much emotion, that she couldn't help but believe everything he was telling her.

She felt the tears start to well up in her eyes, wanting nothing more to throw herself into his arms and never leave. _She couldn't be this lucky_…

"Rea…" hic "Really? You're not just" hic "saying that to make" hic "me feel better?" she blubbered, the tears rolling down her face as snot began to leak from her nose.

Ranger smiled tenderly, pulling her close to him and cradling her head against his chest. "Really, Stephanie. I've never been more serious in my life. I want 'Someday' now, and I want it with you."

_**End**_


End file.
